"Be happy while you're living, for you're a long time dead" -- Scottish Proverb

How to be Smarter: Lots of facts to make your smarter are available here.

How to be Prettier: In a pinch, the (unused) seat covers in public restrooms can be used as facial blotting tissues. 

How to be (less) Awkward: Try not to double dip at a party. If you really need to get more topping on your carrot stick/cracker/nacho and you've already bitten from both ends, break it in half and dip the inside halves in the container.