Tuesday, February 10, 2009

"No one has ever had it written on their tombstones that they wished they had spent more time at the office" -- Unknown

How to be Smarter: Keep up with current events. Not only will you know what you are talking about when somebody asks your opinion, but it’s always fun to see which CSI episodes are based on true occurrences, even when the disclaimer says they aren’t.

How to be Prettier: Read the serving size BEFORE you eat half that box of cookies. Finding out that 2 cookies have 1527 calories and you just ate an entire weeks worth of food in one sitting usually makes you feel fat. And when you feel bad about yourself, you put less effort into your appearance. All in all, you end up looking ugly because you feel ugly. It’s not good!

How to be (less) Awkward: Do you take your laundry to the cleaners? Live in a building with a basement washing machine and ridiculously cute neighbors? Invest in a laundry bag as opposed to a laundry basket. Laundry bags pull completely closed, avoiding those embarrassing mishaps like dropping those heinous granny panties right outside your crush’s door.