“How can a woman be expected to be happy with a man who insists on treating her as if she were a perfectly normal human being" -- Oscar Wilde

How to be Smarter: Bikram yoga is life changing. You need a life change. Do hot yoga for a hot ass. 

How to be Prettier: If you are a small person, you must carry a small bag. If you are big person, you can get away with a larger bag. Keep things in proportion. 

How to be (less) Awkward: Instead of saying "thats dumb" or "she's stupid," try "silly." "Thats silly he dumped you for someone else." "What a silly girl to not know that." It seems less harsh and abrasive.